Name Stealing

So we all have baby names picked out right?  I mean, I know many of us would never admit it, for fear of The Jinx.  My husband and I rarely talk that concretely about baby names, but it doesn’t stop me from forming lists upon lists of names for my children that do not exist.  Occasionally one of us will throw a name out by saying “I kinda like that name” and it usually leads to an eye roll.  I think we both know we’ll come to that fight when we need too and I’m good and pregnant.  And I think we both know I’ll win because, well, I’ll be pregnant so I think I get like 60% of the say and he only gets like 40% of the say…

But I digress.  Boy names are hard for me.  And I really only have a few I like (that fit all these ridiculous self imposed rules I’ve made up) and really only ONE big top contender.  Honestly, whenever I think of having a boy it’s the only name I can see that fits just PERFECTLY with the middle name we’ll want (my husband’s name) and our last name.  Girls?  I have like 25 names I like.  Boys, really just this one.

And then my friend from college and his wife go and have a 2nd (!!) baby and totally steal my name!  Sonofabitch!  Obviously, this isn’t “my” name.  They had no idea I even liked it.  I still felt like I’d been punched in the face when I read the text with the name.  Not only do they get to have two whole children in the time I’ve been trying, they got my favorite name too!

They live far enough away that our kids will most likely never meet, so I could probably still use it.  At least that’s what the Pregnant College Roomies all said when I dashed off a whiny email to them about it.  But I figured all my fellow infertiles out there could commiserate with me.

Has anyone “stolen” your name?  Do you still think you’ll use it?  What are your favorite names?  I’ll share what mine was/is in the comments if you share yours, then maybe I can steal one from you :).

19 thoughts on “Name Stealing

  1. Yup. The name that I like for a boy works both for a Chinese name (since I am Chinese) and an English name. Two different people named their newborn babies the same name this year. I wasn’t happy about it since it’s not even that popular. But I’ll still use the name. As far as sharing… hmmm…. I can tell you that the name could mean “vegetables” in Tamil, my hubby’s mother tongue. 😀

    • One of my self imposed rules is that it has to work in both Spanish and English and sound the same. My husband is 1/2 Mexican. It’s hard to find overlap sometimes so I can totally relate…

      Baby veggie huh? I like it already, haha.

      • If he ever gets formed, he will be so teased by his paternal grandparents and my hubby’s side of the family. But do I care? Nope. I want MY name and I’ll get MY name. 😀 Baby Veggie is great! Maybe if our embryo ever makes it to be a fetus, I’ll call it Baby Veggie.

  2. That’s SO frustrating! I’m the opposite, I’ve had a girls name picked out for years and years, but not a boys name. Thankfully no one has stolen my girl’s name yet, it’s pretty rare, but I’d be more than a little pissed if they did. As if it isn’t unfair enough already?

  3. My DH is the fourth, so I apparently agreed by saying yes to his marriage proposal to continue the naming tradition with a fifth, should we ever have a boy. It would be pretty odd for someone to steal the full name, but I do worry the nickname we both like will become popular. One of my self-imposed rules is no names in the top 10 most popular and preferably not even in the top 100. A name that we both actually like for a girl that has become too popular is Zöe (absolutely with the ö). But maybe by the time we have a daughter it won’t be so popular… But I would be pretty bummed if any of my close friends used the name anyway.

    • Yes, nothing in the top 100 for me either! I love Zoe, with the umlaut. My husband is the 3rd (kind of, the first/last name is the same but not the middle) but it’s already so confusing in his family because of he and his dad having the same name, that I told him we’d use his name as a middle. He hasn’t give up the fight yet though, haha. I know someone who had to name her child James XXX YYY the TWELFTH. Try breaking that tradition….

      • Wow! The 12th!! That’s just crazy. DH goes by his middle name and his dad goes by his first name, so it’s not too confusing. If we have a boy, he won’t go by his first or middle. We have a nickname planned instead. Ah, but we’re a bit ahead of ourselves anyway.

  4. I agree, you can totally still use it! If it were me, I’d probably let the friend know now that it’s a name you’ve loved for a long time, so she’s not surprised when you use it later on.
    So far, no one has stolen my girl name, but my problem is convincing my husband to use it! However, my sister named my niece something that rhymes with my other favorite girl name, so that’s out for me now.

    • Yes my husband still needs some convincing too :). But I am working on him that I get more say on the 1st names of our kids since I changed my last name to his. He doesn’t always agree however, haha.

  5. My SIL recently “stole” my top girl name, the name I’ve been planning to use my entire life… my grandmother’s name. 😦 It’s not the exact name (and it’s not really stealing, since she didn’t know): The name I want to use is Clara; she named her new baby Claire. They would have the same last name. I posted about it when it happened, and the blogosphere was unanimous: I’m free to name my kid whatever I want, no matter how similar it might be to a close relative.
    http://yetanotherbitterinfertile.wordpress.com/2013/04/04/infertility-joy-killer/
    I’m still pretty bitter about it, especially when I learned that the name has no meaning to her; she just saw it on a list and liked it. That makes me even more determined to go ahead and name my daughter (should I ever have one) after my grandmother, even though she will have nearly the same name as her first cousin.

    • See, I would say Clara and Claire are so different! And if it’s for your grandmother, that trumps it all. I have to admit: Clara is on my girls list, haha. With about 25 other names :). You should totally still use it.

  6. Thank you for this post – SO TRUE!! I’ve actually found myself periodically jotting down random names on a scrap of paper here and there – maybe when I hear something or read a name I like. It’s another reason why I think adopting an older child would be really, really hard – you don’t get to pick a name! I know it probably sounds petty, but it’s part of your “imprint” – and I definitely believe that there’s something to be said about personalities that comes from or out of names. Either way, my advice: NEVER EVER share your most beloved baby names (top 3) until it’s on a certificate. 🙂

      • LOL exactly! Although I figure that you’re still “allowed” to use the name you always wanted even if someone else picks it, I definitely wouldn’t put my “picks” out there to give someone else inspiration 😉

  7. Thankfully I’m at an age where my friends are just getting engaged/married, so I haven’t had to worry too much about people stealing names. My husband and I also seem to gravitate toward names that aren’t super popular, as we both have unusual names and have enjoyed not having to share names with anyone in our classes.

    I just found your blog and went back to read all of your own posts. I’m excited to follow you on your IVF journey!

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