A Break, sort of

As I mentioned before, we found out last week that our 4th IUI wasn’t successful.  Since we’ll be on a family vacation in June during the week I normally ovulate, we decided to take a cycle off from treatment.  That means no clomid, no trigger and no IUI.  It also means no huge fertility payment on our credit card, which should be a nice change.

I’m not sure how I feel about this cycle.  It’s not exactly a break, since we’ll still try, just back to tracking my signs and using OPKs and timed intercourse.  Which, as an aside, should be awkward since we’ll be on a big family vacation, sharing a house with my parents, siblings, nephews and niece.  I guess it sort of feels like a break though.  Maybe it’ll be nice to not have all the blood work and ultrasounds.  Or maybe it will be stressful going back to relying on my best educated guess about when I’m ovulating and trying to get excited about scheduled sex that never produces the pregnancy we want.  I do feel less pressure already, which has to be a good thing.

I think the pressure comes from knowing what’s looming on the horizon, and that’s IVF.  I never thought we’d get to the place where IVF was entering our conversations, but we’re there.  We’ll try two more IUI cycles, bringing us to 6 total.  If neither of those are successful, we’ll start planning out our first IVF cycle for sometime in the fall/winter.  I have even more mixed feelings about that, but that’s an entirely different post.

I guess this cycle is powered by the hope that this might still happen for us naturally and for free.  Here goes…

2 thoughts on “A Break, sort of

  1. I can sympathize completely. I know it will be hard, but try to enjoy the break as a true break… no appointments, payments, etc. Never did I ever think I’d be going through my 2nd IVF. I was a bit of a wreck going through IVF1 – I had such anxiety & was so desperate for it to work, my mental stress certainly did not help. We had a 4 month break between IVF cycles and I really needed it – I definitely have a much more positive outlook for this current IVF. Wishing you the best!

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